香港新浪網 MySinaBlog
« 上一篇 |
Chan | 17th Feb 2009, 2:37 AM | 一般

it seems like its always my fault
everytime, its my problem, you dont have any problems at all. in life, its just me causing all the problems. if i didnt do this, if i didnt do that, if i wasnt like this, if i wasnt like now. honestly, FUCK U. 

everytime theres an argument, its always me. me. me. me.  and u? no, u arent wrong. im wrong. cuz i wasnt a child that always get 1s in the report cards, and i never got high 90s like that person. fuck, yea ok, i already admit that i was not a very bright child, i was always daydreaming, i never knew what i should do, and i never liked studying. but THOSE arent the cause of me, and then the cause of the problems now. yea before u can blame it all on me, and say its becuz of all those faults that i have that caused everything "bad" to happen. but now, im not letting u guys saying its my fault anymore. basically, cuz its not. it never was. 

 

in this whole damn family, im always the bad influence, or whtever thats negative. FUCK. everything i do, u guys make such a damn big deal.  just because i was willing to take a blame or two, doesnt mean it was my fault. i always thought being good and just not fighting back for what was the truth would put me in a good place, not a place where people actually started believing that its all my mistakes. and not urs. i realize.. im actually not as happy in this family as i thought i was. on the surface, it seems like im the lucky one, getting to stay in a home wif parents, getting to eat and sleep under a roof where everything was already made for me, and being able to stay connected wif my parents. but its not like that at all. to them i was never the better child, i was said as a selfish person, someone who didnt care about my family, didnt have goals, and anything that can be negatively said was said.  just cuz im not someone that says things well and expresses feelings well doenst mean i dont give a damn abt my family. i do everything for my family. i always always always always put my family as first. but then all i get is that im selfish. 

 

 

im just wrong. every part of me is just wrong. and u guys are perfectly right. no faults at all.